Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If that was your dad, he is hot
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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