I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
