Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
