Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
