Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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