end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
