Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
