hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize