Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I supernannyed him into submission
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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