Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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