I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
