you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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