dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She said her name was "party"
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize