There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
