she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
