please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
