When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize