no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize