I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
