So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize