You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
