Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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