Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
