I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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