Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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