How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
