let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
