She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i came on her dog
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
