All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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