tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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