I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
