I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
don't judge my taste in strippers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
