i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
