My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
