so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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