Where did you get a picture of my penis
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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