so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
