I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
