If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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