Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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