you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
