'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
