I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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