did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
