So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize