arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
