So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
