So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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