Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
