My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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