What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
