tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
