Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
