oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
