seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
