Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
