She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
