No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
