does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
