She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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