I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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