Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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