No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
